🖐 After 8 years and over $k, thinking of hanging myself. | Gambling Therapy

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'He gambles, he drinks too much and he womanises on a scale to rival Casanova​!' 'Drinking, gambling and womanising sometimes landed him in trouble.' 'The.


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Someone once told me that most gamblers have a complicated a successful businessman (but remained a real jerk and womanizer).


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“Drinking, smoking, gambling, womanising in tity bars, investing, and business owning male.” “I see your point. What do stockbrokers do that you don‟t like?


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I was barely eight years old when I learned that my grandfather's compulsive gambling, womanizing and alcoholism turned the family's once affluent lifestyle to​.


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Someone once told me that most gamblers have a complicated a successful businessman (but remained a real jerk and womanizer).


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He publicly opened up about his fame getting to his head and womanising, gambling and drinking heavily. This incredibly inspiring boxer has.


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He publicly opened up about his fame getting to his head and womanising, gambling and drinking heavily. This incredibly inspiring boxer has.


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'He gambles, he drinks too much and he womanises on a scale to rival Casanova​!' 'Drinking, gambling and womanising sometimes landed him in trouble.' 'The.


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“Drinking, smoking, gambling, womanising in tity bars, investing, and business owning male.” “I see your point. What do stockbrokers do that you don‟t like?


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Because you first enjoying it, it's sociable, and nice. That definitely affected how I saw sex, and how I saw relationships. This drug of choice. I was also sexually molested, as a six-year-old. But I wanted an escape from the destruction. I always blamed her for his behaviour, because I felt she provoked him to a certain extent. And a year later, I've just gambled my whole house away, my whole marriage, my kids' education, my job. She ended up taking her frustration out on us. I have a sister who was with me during the worst of my addiction, and she still goes to the casino, and I don't have a partner. He fondled me while he was driving and took me to an abandoned building and made me do things I was completely innocent of. And then you go to various banks and get an overdraft, and if that overdraft is not enough then you'll threaten to shut down your account if they don't give you another R5, by that afternoon. He used to bash my mother around. And tomorrow, I'm playing a thousand. Our Fellowship is specific. It was extremely abusive, and emotionally traumatic. Others could see there was something different about you, but you couldn't see it. We will often be in denial about losing money. If we're there for a dinner or a show, I can quite happily put R in and I can walk away if I've lost it. We will just annihilate that. I had to do it alone. I know that I had found a home, and found peace in the walls of the fellowship. My Dad also became very aggressive. Until recently, she would often throw it in my face. It's pleasurable to put R20 into a slot machine, but the game is progressive. But when I got pissed with them, they took me to an abandoned parking lot and was raped by both of them. Some addicts don't cross-addict, though. With the addict, the difference is, we chase. Irrespective of how its destroying our finances, our lives. I've been in recovery for 13 years. And while I didn't have the courage to take my own life, because part of me still wanted to live. We really didn't see it. Or with a whip, or a rod, or a plank. It was a good seven years intro my recovery when I asked myself what are you doing here? I think there would be people who say they can control their gambling, because they don't believe they are addicts. If we didn't do exactly as she said, she would often beat me with the buckle part of a belt. I was already working at 19, and two workshop hands invited me out for a drink, and I was quite excited that guys were interested in me. Sometimes there's an influx.{/INSERTKEYS}{/PARAGRAPH} After 18 months in the programme I relapsed for a period of eleven months. If I were cross-addicted to sex or drugs or love, I'm there solely for my gambling addiction. When my mom made him a meal he didn't like, he would squash it into her face or smash it against the wall. You call in sick, you make up a dentist's appointment at lunchtime. And my thoughts were totally consumed with wanting to end my life. All your money is reserved for the casino. And so there was almost no mercy spared. I owe my life to the Fellowship. We call it plugging a hole in the soul. All our thoughts are consumed by it. Nothing can stand in the way of our acting out, even a partner. If it's working, why aren't more people in the step recovery programme in fellowships like Gamblers Anonymous? Every gambler has that moment, which keeps them hook even when they are losing. And we as kids, my brother and myself witnessed so much, and he would take that wrath out on us. We don't believe the National Responsible Gambling Programme is working. We often went through lack. I became what I would call a bitch. I also developed bipolar syndrome as a result of this addiction. You win a jackpot, and you're hooked. You start out with fifty rand, and it's great fun. You don't immediately know you are going to become addicted. When I first saw a psychiatrist in recovery, she asked me 'How would you describe yourself? All you want to do is stay in the game. And the day after, playing five thousand. And my dad lost several jobs as a result of his alcoholism. I was introduced to casinos by an ex-boyfriend. My first win was a R20, — and I thought Wow, what an easy way of making money. One of the reasons is that we destroy relationships. It's only when you come into the recovery programme that you actually see that your life was powerless. You fall in love with this addiction. And I went to see a doctor, who said why don't you go back to the programme. That's the progressive nature of the addiction. In those days you had to drive out to Sun City. So I did, and I didn't look back. But we come to realise the other ones stand in the way of our spiritual experience. But I'm not telling you how much I put into the machine to get out the R1, I lost yesterday. Sadly, the very things I loathed in my Dad, I became as well. I also became a drunk. I was still a very active shopaholic when I first came to GA. We're not there to fight off all the other demons. He was a womaniser and a horse-racing gambler. Our fellowships are small, and the numbers dwindle. I witnessed my Dad kicking my mother down the steps, flushing her head down the toilet. I stopped drinking sixteen years ago, and straight after that I started gambling. A lot of people will say, I enjoy going to the casino. My aged parents live with me, and they are still in active addiction. {PARAGRAPH}{INSERTKEYS}Both Eleanore and Seema grew up in dysfunctional homes, and both their fathers were gamblers — a background shared by many, but not all compulsive gamblers. I had a nervous breakdown as a result of it. Really battering her. I was a street kid. My dad was an alcoholic as well and my mother was a manic depressive. Somehow he persuaded us as youngsters, me and my brother, to get in his car. So I went through a backstreet abortion, and that was absolute hell. I fell pregnant, but couldn't have a legal abortion in those days. We became these monsters, and didn't see how we destroyed not just our own lives but the lives of those around us. My mother knew, and never let me forget about it. He became violent, not only to her, but towards us. I remember boasting to some of my colleagues about the kind of money I was spending or winning. Picked up by some random guy, that we didn't know. Especially with a woman drinking, she drops her guard. You'll stay at the casino till midnight because if your limit is R2, then the next day you have another R2, in the early hours of the morning. We choose not to think about it.